HOGWARTS-Hell of glorious witty aimless rebellious (tactful) students
by kairi1998
Summary: What if your are not attending Hogwarts, because you want to? What if you are forced to, because guess why your whole family died but you miraculously survived. Oh and not to forget. Your scumbag off a male gen donor, you never talked to, because you are the living evidence for his betrayal on his on true love, is a proffessor there. Well. Welcome to my oh so happy life...
1. My glorious arrival

Hey everyone who gave this probably crappy story a chance. Stop I wanted to be full of confidence. Again. Hey everyone who gave this super good and creative story a chance,

Just some basic information for a better understanding. This story takes place in the same World of Harry Potter you all know during fith year. But everything takes place a little more in the future. Therefore in the twenty first century. I read a slightly similar FF, which gave me the inspiration. My storyline ist despite from one small fact, which is not really lets say creative, completly different, but I just wanted to be overall concret and state it :D

Soo have fun...

Prologue

"Mum!", I whine louder than before as she still focuses on peeling the potato she has in her hand. I slightly pull at the hem of her shirt. With my four years I have the perfect height to annoy her like this without even having to stretch and I know that perfectly well. She signs loudly and puts the now peeled potato back in the pot on the stove. Finally she says: "What do you want Sophie?" She speaks my warm but sometimes really hard sounding mother tongue. German. "Mia told me something strange. She said it doesn't add up." My mum signs again deeply. Now she really gives up on her cooking and turns her full attention to me. "What doesn't add up?"

"Dads dead", I say without any consideration what this question might bring upon me. Come on I am four I don't have any idea what it could mean, that my father died two month before Mum got pregnant with me. I am even proud of myself that I remember my question all the way down from Mia's and my room, but I do spot the sudden fear in her eyes and that her normally naturally tanned face becomes a little white. Of course I ask myself why, but there is a lot of this adult stuff that I don't understand just yet. So I just let my thoughts slide. My mum takes my hand and leads me to the small table in the kitchen behind the fridge. "Mia!", she calls out of the door and then sits down to pull me on her lap. Normally she never does that anymore. "Whats wrong?", I ask in my I-am -such-a-innocent-little-child-voice. "Just a sec!", I hear Mia from upstairs. I know that she will probably be annoyed if she comes downstairs and dinner is not ready. At the same time my mum whispers in my ear: "I thought I had at least two years left until this moment" Of course I don't understand what she means but her breath tickles my ear so I giggle. Why is everybody acting so weird. First it's Mia, who I annoyed by coming in while she did her homework. She talked about what she learned in biology today about pregnancy, that she calculated out of fun if she was too early or something and then she used my date oh birth. She said it's wrong. It's not possible for me to exist. Mum tightens her arms and doesn't even let go when Mia gallops down the stairs. She is four years older than me and tall. As long as I can think I wanted to have her wild brown locks. She shoots us a strange look and rolls her eyes. I was right. "Is it about what I said? Maybe I miscalculated...", Mia shrugs.

"No honey. You are right. Come here", after saying that in a teary voice Mum grasps Mia and hugs us hard for a very long time. "Muum", I shout and Mia also struggles against her grip. "What's wrong?", Mia asks the same questions I did. Now I am sure that Mum is really crying. She sobs and into my hair. "I...I am just so afraid that something will change. You... You are both right. It doesn't add up because... cause Dad isn't your father Sophie."

And this was the only moment in my all so happy childhood I wanted to just erase. I don't exactly know how many times I wished I would have never asked that stupid question or my Mum would have lied to me or I don't know what. Well after years of questioning myself why my real father never wanted to get know his own daughter I came to the conclusion that I simply had no father. My Father died before I was born. He was a Muggle and died from cancer like a normal human. He didn't want my Mum to help him so he never told her. A sad but lame story. I know my creativity sucks. He could have just been eaten by a monster or whatever. But that would have been way too cool for my oh so shitty life.

Chapter 1

I hate my life. I hate myself. I hate everyone. I just hate everything. Luckily the people around me are a smart bunch of freaks. They see the murderous look on my face and decide not to talk to me. Okay you got me. There are not really people around me. The only one who passed me was a small black haired boy, but he just looked at me once and almost ran away. So I hope that this look will also work with the rest of those freaks I will be forced to meet soon enough. I am standing at a spot I never ever wanted to see up close in the great entrance hall of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, in front of me a big staircase made of stone with a ridiculous, ornamental lion on top of it. At its feet a mountain a of trunks and other luggage piles up.

Everyone arrived earlier than me. Yes I wasn't forced to travel with this stupid train. Instead I got the special permission to apparate together with my guardian from the German branch of the Ministry of Magic. Therefore the sorting ceremony or whatever they call it has already started. At least the loud cheers and claps coming from a door to my right indicate that. My guardian, who coincidentally is not just some guy the Ministry's department for childcare assigned to me, but the husband of my aunt, stands behind me. He is called Mr. Schwarz and gives me a gentle push to get me to start moving. No I didn't I freeze directly in the doorway. "Können wir uns nicht doch einfach wieder verpissen bevor sie uns bemerken? (Can't we just piss off before they see us?", I ask in my mother tongue so nobody would be able to understand what I say. Mr. Schwarz is a nice guy. I guess my mum never really introduced me to anyone from her family before the incident, because well let's say they disliked that their daughter/sister was a witch. At least my grandparents really hated the idea. Probably the reason grandmother got a heart attack when not only mum disappointed them but Aunt Isabell married a Wizard. After living with them for half a year I should know them better, but I am not sure if I really do. Maybe they just looked after me because they had no choice?

But I know that he (I still call him Mr. Schwarz don't ask me why) cared for me after I got out of the hospital while they searched for any living relations that were closer to me than Isabell. They put up with me. A teenager who just lost her whole family in a car accident while she miraculously survived. A girl who didn't say a word for a whole month after her screaming was ignored and her story was pushed aside as hallucination. Who had three broken ribs and refused to let anyone heal her. I bite my lips. Don't! I forbid myself to think about it again. But it's very hard when it's the very reason for me to be here in this hell hole for a school. "No we cannot. Just go in. I need to have a word with..." "I get it!", I stop him before he says his name. If that name would be said I would puke. Either that or I would start my new school year with a tantrum. Now that I think about it, that would be a great a idea. At least then nobody would annoy me by trying to befriend me. But for once I pretend to be a nice girl.

So I drag my heavy suitcase across the hallway and leave this stupid heavy bag of garbage with the other luggage. Mr Schwarz gives me a thumps up and a bright smile which I just ignore before he escapes up the stairs with an awkward wave. Now that he is gone I could just disappear. Longingly I look at the closed entrance door. The entrance hall is still empty. Nobody wants to miss the sorting hat, but a girl which hops down the stairs behind me stops my genius escape plan before I can even start walking. "Come on! You don't want do miss the food do you?"She is small blonde and so annoyingly nice that she even grabs my wrist to pull me after her. I mean hello? Never heard of that thing called personal space? Of course I immediately free myself but troll after her nonetheless. Judging by her school uniform she must be a Hufflepuff or was it Rawenclaw? Ups. I should have learned the house colors. Well shit.

When she opens the door everyone immediately turns silent to stare at me while this stupid little rabbit hops to her seat. The great hall is as great as its name alludes to. The four house tables are enormous. The enchanted ceiling looks well very enchanted with the moon and the stars and the few small clouds. Of course also the flying candles and the high walls create a totally magical feeling but to me it wouldn't matter if we were supposed to eat in a cupboard or in a dungeon. I promised myself I would hate everything and a few playschool spells aren't going to rise my enthusiasm for this place. With a sign I close the door behind me. Why in hell has the stupid sorting ceremony to be over by now? Well it is not that I didn't know that this moment would come. Thank god that I decided to wear my best ripped black jeans and my best black, washed out converse with ahole, that used to be my sisters,that morning. Oh and not to forget my best also black jumper with the slogan: "Sorry for fucking all your friends" at the front. Its a quote from one of my favorite songs so I hope will excuse the bad language. Yes through all this time sarcasm was and still is my best friend.

Maybe it would have been better for the people around me if I kept silent because the only things that left my mouth for month are curse words or irony.

Of course its obvious that everyone is already wearing their school uniforms. I mean come on you British lame asses that you are all snobs is supposed to be a prejudice, why prove the truth of that to me in the first few seconds? Not that I care what they think of me. No really its nice to know that my unusual entrance and everything about me will be the hot topic for next week. Everyone starts whispering as I break the silence by making my way to my table. I do already know to which house I will belong. A long nosed woman with a strict face called Professor McGonagall came to visit me three weeks ago. Another thing I absolutely don't care about. I think this whole house system is totally stupid. I mean okay it is supposed to encourage the student to work harder for their houses bla bla, but isn't it obvious that a system like that will create rivalry to death and bullying? Well that is so British. I aim for the table on the right. The Griffindor table. It is the only house I know a few things about. Yes the news about the Triwizard Tournament also reached my hometown in the west of Germany. Griffindor is the house of this famous boy who lived and also the house of the poor fellow who died just three months ago. This Harry Potter guy owes me a lot now. At least he won't be the only one the whole school talks about now. I slide into a seat at the far end of the table. The only free one I was able to make out. Next to me a bunch of overall excited first years. Great. They all look up to me as I am some kind of monster just waiting to eat them. Really thanks.

I can understand that I may look a little ehm... black, but a monster? Come on. I am just a teenager, who was in the worst mood you can imagine for the last six months. The row of older looking faces in front of me also stare at me like they have never seen a human girl before. I think I should have listened to Isabell and should have taken out my septum. Yes I had my rebellious phase just three month ago and yes I also have a tattoo. First I was in denial (No my family isn't dead. Its all prank). Then I mourned, which consisted of crying alone in my room not speaking to anyone while trying to remember all the times I spent together with mum and Mia and missing them like crazy. I also had this phase of murderous anger against everything and everyone. Welcome rebellious me. Out of anger and supressed hurt I decided I had no one to make rules anymore so why not get a piercing and a tattoo to look more badass. Or maybe I just wanted to feel some real pain next to my emptiness.

Before one of my future class mates faces a stroke caused by my badassness the headmaster, who is positioned in the middle of the teacher table at head of the hall, stands up and begins his welcoming speech. Everyone becomes silent and looks up to the man with the enormous white beard. I think he is called something with D... Dumbleforth or something likewise.

I was supposed to learn all the teachers names, but you know that is the problem with this little word supposed. Its like a rule. One that I didn't follow like most of the other rules. Only two of the names stuck with me. Professor McGonagall the cat-lady, who annoyed me in my last weeks of the holidays and the one name which I can not say without puking. Guess who I am talking about. Carefully to not get caught I scan the teacher's table. It is not very surprising that he isn't here. He must still be talking to my uncle. For the rest of Dumbledores speech, luckily he introduced himself to the first Years, I stare at my reflection in the empty golden plates in front me, which are the only things on the table.

The whole time nobody says a word to me, even if everyone is bursting from curiosity about my identity. The headmaster just said one sentence about me: "Also welcome the new transfer student Sophie Braun." Like every other dumb British he says it wrong and I need to control myself not to correct him. Things like the pronounciation of my first name got a whole new importance over the last seven months. It's suddenly very significant for me that people say it like my mum used to say it. Not in this British way with a long o. I want to feel that a part of her is still with me. Ahh not again. I try so hard not to be reminded of what I lost but it isn't that easy. Especially in this strange surrounding. I know that people always say its good to change your environment if you endure a loss like I did. It helps, but I will tell you a secret. In my case it doesn't. In Germany I got used to my life at least and I was finally able to act almost normally for the last months, because I felt something like normality when I was around Isabell, Mr. Schwarz and Brian, my little cousin. But here I search for familiar things to get me through all this shit and I find nothing.

Everyone suddenly starts singing. Wait what did I miss? I was so lost in my thoughts that I stopped listening and then everyone starts singing like this is a fucking musical. Did I sign up for High School Musical or what? Seriously why is everyone so happy. They are back to school for goodness sake. And this text. _And learn until our brains all rot._ Maybe I see everything a little biased.

After proving that they can't hit a note for money that the hall bursts into conversation. A mass of food piles high on the golden plates I was so fascinated with earlier. "So you are new right?", a red haired girl in front of me instantly starts a conversation. Annoyed I look up. The girl seems to be little younger than my sixteen years. She sits next to a girl my age with wild brown locks. On her other side two red haired twins stuff their mouths. What's with all the gingers here?

"What? Now you hurt me. We were in the same house for five years now and you still don't recognize me?", I answer sarcastically. She looks startled at her friends. Her green eyes wide opened. She is just so lame. I mean come on what a dump question to start a conversation? The twins begin to smirk at me.

"That was a joke, Ginny. And a good one Ms Unknown! By the way I am Fred", one of them says, still laughing. I bet she is their little sister. They look slightly similar and this would be exactly the way Mia would have teased me in a situation like that. "Really?", Ms. _I am a girl I have to act sweet and stupid_ or simply Ginny looks at me full doubt.

"Correct Sherlock", my voice hopefully sounds ironic enough to prevent anymore people to be nice. While the older ones especially the ones who look like they could be also fifth years exchange looks, I help myself to roasted potatoes. The only thing I can reach and like by the look of it. I see pork, ham and steak and this typical english breakfast beans. Yuck. Nothing for my picky taste. I only like chicken and sausages but I hate every other meat and I don't feel about asking anyone of these weirdos to pass me stuff. And yes I know I am weird but let me be. As I chew my second potato, which are actually the only nice thing came across today, the other twin says: "So Dumbledore said your are transfer student. What did you do that they expelled you from your old school and who did you bribe to get accepted here? We want the whole dirty story."

I raise an eyebrow and seriously consider not answering, but a mean reply slips out: "I set a first year on fire" My tone doesn't change one bit like I really don't care. Just to your information I made this story up. I am if you believe me or not secretly a pacifist and at home people actually consider me funny sometimes, but I guess the British don't get dark humor.

"Why did you do that?", the brown haired one almost screams. Respect, her voice resonates over two octaves in this one sentence. I shrug. "He bumped into me."

Fred and his twin burst into laughter, which I really didn't intend to. I more likely did hope to scare them away. Browny almost gets a heart attack: "That's not funny! What if this poor boy had died or was severely injured?!"

"My god, you give me a headache. Ever heard of a thing called sarcasm?" I stand up and pop the last potato from my plate into my mouth. Browny closes her mouth and finally shuts up. Thank god. "Can someone please tell me the password. I am tired." As always they turn silent first. "It's pig snout", a boy with glasses and dark hair sitting next to Browny finally answers. "Thanks", I say rolling my eyes at all the others who still stare at me openmouthed. This is going to be so much more annoying than I thought. I leave the great hall as the first one and of course I feel thousands of burning stares in my back. Why do they even make such a fuss? Am I the first transfer student they have ever seen or what? I guess I really am and I obviously have no idea where our dorms are.

Sooo...What are you thinking? I would love to hear your opinion, like any other author :D

Also i want to thank my glorious sister( You know she is one of these nerds who has an A in like any subject you can imagine) that she put up with this story and corrected it for me. You know English is not my mothertongue so please excuse any mistakes and feel free to point them out to me...

Well thats it... I have no more öhm boring shit to get through to you...

I hope we will see you some time this year for the next update ( :DDD) just a joke. Don't worry...


	2. Me and my stupid temper

The first thing I hear is a loud shrill sound. I turn around. The noise still cuts painfully in my ear. "Was zur Hölle?", I mumble and decide to immediately kill whoever pulled me out of my peaceful sleep.

"What did you say?", a voice from I don't know where asks. Oh, how could I forget the fact that I have to share a room with exactly four other stupid idiots who are now my classmates. Yehii. I won the lottery. "Turn that off!", I scream. My sleep was so peaceful. I didn't even dream something and now all is destroyed by this... thing. I hear someone pull back their sheets. A crashing sound follows. Someone threw the alarm clock against the wall.

"Hey!", I hear a high pitched voice. I think its the little bronze blond nerdy one with the glasses, who introduced herself as Lola yesterday. Yes, my roommates disturbed my precious alone time I spend unpacking. Also there was a tall spanish looking one named Camila, who I guess is the one that threw the alarm clock and the one who says now: "I told you I would destroy it if you bring it again after summer."

"Not again! Come on its the first day. No fighting!", this voice must belong to the girl with hazelnut brown hair who looks a little like a hamster. No offense. I think her name was Lucy. Or my last remaining roomie, which name I sadly forgot. Something with B I think. The name fit her big green puppy eyes, her ash blonde hair and her innocent, a little stupid looking face perfectly. Ah. How much did I miss this morning mumbling. Not. This is one thing I even hated in my old school.

Yes I also went to a similar school back home. There I shared a room with my two of my best friends at least. They knew that I hated nothing more than loud people when I wake up.

Also there I had a choice. My sister for example went to a normal school even when she got the potential. You know back home it's like that. You get a letter telling you that you have the potential and then your parents have to register you if you want to go to a school for witchcraft. There is only one in Germany and it's much smaller. It is not so far off the hook like this old rotten castle so we live a more normal life. Some people even go to muggle schools and just take some courses in the evening, but I decided against it.

When I was young I was eager to learn anything that had something to do with magic. I loved every little trick my mum showed me. Alright enough wallowing in the past.

Finally everyone is silent. I just hear a door closing, but my mind is bright awake. Great. What time is it? I bet it's far too early. I decide to open my eyes and get up. I was right. Lola, who was sleeping in the bed next to me, is gathering the pieces of her bright red alarm clock. The room is surprisingly big. At the foot of every bed chests containing personal belongings reside. A big antic looking wardrobe out of dark wood leans against the wall opposite of my bed. To my right there is a door leading outside and on the left hand side a door leads inside our very own bathroom. In between the beds there are big windows with broad sills to sit or space to litter little things. The walls are painted in dark blue like the curtains of the four poster beds. The floor where I now put my bare feet is seemingly made out of the same dark wood as the wardrobe.

My eyes still need time to adjust to the bright daylight. Ms. Nameless comes fully dressed out of her corner. She even has her hair fixed already. My god. She looks like one of those oh so virtuous English school girls that go to a catholic school. You know the totally crazy bitch, which is of course not meant judgmentally, from _Easy A_. At my right side Lucy struggles to put on her skirt. "Girls. Hurry up. We don't want to miss breakfast!" I think Anonymous Girl's favorite activity is to annoy me. I mean hello were do I fit in the term Girls? I sign and let myself fall back onto the bed and stare at the ceiling. Please nightmare, be over! I beg you devil.

"Calm down Bertha the waking up bell didn't even ring yet." Bertha, now I remember. How could I forget such a glorious name. "For goodness sake there is a fucking waking up Bell and you have an alarm clock?", I almost shout while mentally giving me the biggest face palm of the ever. Where am I?! In geek city?!

"Not anymore", Camila says smirking while she comes out of the bathroom. Although she looks as Spanish as possible with her long, thick black hair put up in a ponytail and a tall athletic body, she displays the same annoying British accent everyone here has. Another reason to hate this country. At least she doesn't look like she comes from planet perfection.

She wears the stupid tie loose, the white blouse isn't as tidy and neat as Bertha's and the gray sweater hangs over her arms, but she still put on the ugly gray skirt. With all my self control I manage to get up again. I grab my phone from the sill and fall back exhausted. As I check my messages just one from Eva wishing me good luck( Mr. Schwarz said his farewells yesterday when I met him in hallway. He even hugged me. Ew) and one from Isabell, my best friend and the only reason I didn't kill myself just yet. Calm down. It was just a joke. Relax. She begs me not to murder anyone and reminds me to behave myself because she wants to come in autumn and check out the hot British boys, which I still haven't seen. Maybe they all hide away.

While I type my reply the annoying bell rings. It sounds like a mixture of a drunken cow and a shipyard. One by one my roomies disappear into the bathroom. When I am finish telling her that her visit probably needs to be postponed, because I am planning to burn this trash can down any minute, the whole geek gang leaves for breakfast without one last glance at me. I don't even strain myself to understand their silent whispers. They surely said something like: "Omg she didn't move for the last ten minutes. Is she dead?" Maybe I should really pretend I am. Of course that is the solution for all your problems, the voice of reason whispers in my head. I keep it tied down most of the time so it won't annoy me. Why did it have to free itself today of all days? Slowly I get up for the third time, but this time for real.

With freshly brushed teeth and hair I stand in front of my wardrobe. I have absolutely no idea how, but a freshly ironed school uniform did suddenly appear in it. Yesterday there were just my collection of band sweaters, the only thing I unpacked next to my collection of ripped jeans in all colors. Mostly in dark tones. But you know what the creepy thing about this is? Not that the uniform suddenly appears, I mean this is a school for magic so its not very surprising, but that for one short second I actually consider wearing it. Yes, I really stare at the ugly skirt and ugly jumper and seriously think about putting them on.

The mysteriously freed voice of wisdom actually has to fight against my normal self. It is like this angel devil thing. The angel on my left shoulder says: "Come on. Be a nice girl put it on. So you won't get in to trouble on your first day." Devil on the other hand argues: "Buuuuut it is a skirt. You will always have to watch if you bend over or sit down. And if you wear it you will have to search for tights, because remember this big fat red scar on your thigh. Also just look at this crease. Disgusting." Grossed out from myself I shake my head. Then I probably do something really stupid but at least I am satisfied with myself. Nobody is going to get me inside this skirt.

How did this happen? With this I mean that I actually enter the entrance hall together with someone. The mysterious someone is Camila. She sat on the top of the stairs and walked me to breakfast without saying a word. Not even to my missing school uniform. At least I am wearing the white blouse and even the tie, but in place of the skirt my outfit is completed with my favorite black pants from yesterday. Well, she answered my confused question. "I am walking you to breakfast dummy. Obviously you don't know the way", was her only answer. She said it with this tone indicating I am the stupid one even asking a question that has such an obvious answer. Even I can't do anything else but to call that nice. No Buts.

With everyone staring at me like I am the first alien arriving on earth,I regret my decision for one incredibly embarassing second, then my Yolo attitude takes over once again. To tell you the true, I actually feel a little just a tiny whiny bit totally badass walking trough the crowds of eating and staring students with the first button of the blouse opened and my wand in my butt pocket. I always do that but today it kind of feels really öhm cool.

The famous owl post sadly interrupts my awesome entrance. Okay its not so sad, because I can luckily disappear in the crowd before the angry stare that caught my eye from the teacher table eats me alive or more likely the person who owns these eyes. As soon I sit down I place my wand next to my plate. I earn a few stares for that. I think that is bad manners, whoops.

The ginger twins, who kick a innocent first year out of the way so that they can sit in front of me, interrupt the stares and everyone continues eating, silently shaking their head about me. Camila who sits down besides me rolls her eyes the same time as I do, which is kind of creepy.

"So Ms Mysterious we know now that you didn't get expelled, so why are you here?", one of them directly comes to the point while letters and little packages rain down from above. I am used to that. They did it the same way at home, but because its the 21st century even in our world we adapted to a lot of technology from the muggles. Sending a whatsapp message is much faster than an owl, but it looks like the people are mostly stuck in the middle ages here. They probably don't even know what wifi is. Only a few, mostly muggle borns I think, use a phone. Well at least as far as I can see from here. Of course I don't get any mail.

I scan the food on the table. As always there is a lot of typical English breakfast food. Sorry that I don't crave eggs or baked beans or sausages or even porridge at seven in the morning. I just get myself an apple without answering. I don't want anyone to get to know anything about me. They would just pity me and I don't need that. Oh no. They can keep all of it to themselves. I just don't need any of them being curious. If they knew they wouldn't just talk about jeans. Or my piercing. Before that happens I would rather go to Azkaban freely.

"Oh come on! Just one little piece of information", they continue to pester me.

I sign. "I just moved here. What is so hard to believe in that?", I finally answer while taking the first bite. To distract myself from the annoying ginger twins I let my eyes wander over the other tables. Just typical boring scenes. Some happily share the content of their letters others compare timetables, the heads of the houses pass out. The catlady which seems to be the head of our house is also going around but she is at the far and of our table.

"Well maybe because you look like you are part of the Hells Angels", the ginger twins get my attention back to them. The Hells Angels? Seriously. I give them my best you-stupid look. They will never give up won't they? "Firstly they don't allow woman to be members and second okay ask away."

I hear a happy cheer and a high five from them. "Okay. We will start with an easy one. Whats Your name?"

"Sophie"

"Where are you from?"

"Germany", as I say that something interesting catches my eye. A really really white blonde guy from the table next to the door, which is very far away, makes his way to the table next to his. He obviously doesn't catch my eye because of that. There are a lot of people passing between the table and of course some of them are boys, but he is flanked by a really fat and tall black boy. They look like they are his bodyguards and push the people out of the way so that Blondie can move freely. How stupid is that? Can't he do that himself or just put up with all the people around him without becoming violent?

I almost miss the next question: "Why are you here?" I don't bother to answer, because I am focused on watching how the group stops next to a small Asian looking boy, who surely is a second year. He has something on the table before him. Probably a package from an overly caring mum, who is so worried about her son that she has to send a package of sweets directly on his first day.

Blondie says something and tosses the box to the ground. His bodyguards shield the boy from the rest of the table. Guess what the boys classmates do. They all slip away. Most of them are probably also second years, but I can easily see a bunch of older students who just pretend to not see how this innocent little boy, who did nothing wrong and who just wants to live a peaceful school life is tormented in front of their eyes. Those jerks! The Asian boy still sits there like a frightened mouse. I narrow my eyes. There is one thing I hate more than being here. Bullies like Blondie over there, who torment easy targets just to gain a piece of pathetic little self esteem from that. All the little cowards looking away are as pitiful as the Bully himself.

I try to force myself to look away and say: "That's none of your business" More talking to myself then to the ginger twins.

It's not my problem if the weirdos here can't even fight against one pathetic little Bully like Blondie, I repeat in my mind like a mantra. I really want to believe and live it, but as soon as Blondie grabs the little boys collar and pretends to push his face into his bowl of porridge my self control vanishes into thin air. Sometimes my brain just stops functioning.

In moments like this when I am consumed by rage I have no reason left in my body. All I can think about is the little boy, who could be my brother. I just can't stand injustice and physical abuse even less. I sigh deeply. I can't believe I am doing this.

"Hey. Who is Bully No. 1 over there?", I ask, already standing up. The ginger twins turn around to follow my gaze.

Sit pack down my always anti, inner voice whispers inside my head. Too late now, the other moral voice replies. My muscles don't wait for my approval in situations like this."Oh that's... Draco Malfoy. He is...", one of them starts to answer, but I interrupt him: "Let me guess. A pure blood with asshole parents right? And you are all so afraid of him and his big daddy?"

"Noo! ", is the immediate answer while I climb of the bench.

"Then why don't you help?"

"Just. He is not in our house and...", the twin saying that sounds so careless that I would really like to punch him just now, but I contain my anger for Blondie. What an ignorant bastard! Okay I apologize for the bad language. It's just that I would really like to destroy something right now. Poor Blondie.

"And not your problem? Ever heard of a think called stupidity?", I snap back at the twin, take my wand and aim at the group. The little boy seems to be crying silently and Blondie plus companions are busy laughing at him. Now I am fully in my anti bully mode. I feel the anger in every cell of my body.

This boy did nothing. He probably begged his mom to stay home or maybe even did something really stupid to get expelled last year. This school probably is even more hell for him than for me. I crack my neck.

When I reach the table I stop for a short second just a few meters away from them. A girl next to me is peeling an orange. "Can I have those. Thanks", I take some of the leftovers from her plate without bothering to wait for her answer. There are three easy steps in dealing with typical bullies. First you have to gain their attention. It is optimal if the way you do it already humiliates them.

With a flick of my wand I let the orange peel hover of my palm. You know there are some easy first year spells you can perform without saying the words by just picturing them in your mind.

These non-verbal spells were a subject back home. They can be really helpful when you need to react fast in battle or when you are lazy like me.

I target the closest one, which is the obese one (sorry if this sounds harsh I just don't know his name so..). When the piece of peel hits the back of his head he immediately turns around and unconsciously takes a step back, which means a clean line of fire for me. Of course I seize the chance and fire all the left over peel directly into Blondie's carefully styled hair. I begin to walk again and stop just one step in front of him.

He already spun around angrily and now tries to stare me down with a glowing look out of his grey eyes. Up close he looks really pale, although no one could deny his good looks. Defined Jawline. Full lips. He has this arrogant I am the king of the school bad boy aura. One piece of orange peel brightly contrasts against his pale hair and destroys his bad boy aura though.

Yes, I am not the tallest one here, but no drama. I respond to his stare with a fake smile. Step two get your message across in a way that shows what a pathetic, weak, little rat the bully is. The hard part is to scare him just a little so that you will stay in his mind. Never nag or appeal to his conscious because guess what, he doesn't have one.

Still smiling and playing with my wand in my hand I say in an bored tone: "Can you do me favor?" (Never forget the dramatic pause.) "You know I was watching you and thought hey if you are so afraid of picking on someone your own size I could give you a little training you know. You wouldn't have to spend your time with little boys and could finally become a real man. Then you wouldn't need the tears of a boy who is like a whole ten years younger to push up the little self esteem you have left. My last training partner is still in hospital and I think he will never be able to walk again. So I need a replacement, What are you thinking?"

Now not just Blondie and his friends stare at me with a mixture of confusion and fear in their eyes. While everyone is still paralyzed I lock my eyes with the boy. I make a gesture with my head and hope that my eyes say: "Come on get lost while you can." I am not stupid. I mean I can fight. At home I did a little Akkaido and Karate, but I can't defeat three full grown boys who are all at least three inches taller than me. Well I have my magic and I am not afraid to use it, but if the three really decide to start a fight, because I have been maybe a little too sassy, I don't want the Asian boy to get caught in the middle. I can defend myself but not him at the same time. I am not Lara Croft, okay?

Luckily he gets the hint and slips silently away. To give him a little more time I interrupt their stupid stares. "I guess I am a little too frightening then. " I shrug. "But can you tell me where you had your hair done? I love this tone really. So unnatural."

Step three: the final humiliation so that everyone looses their respect for the bully. I chose his hair, because it is so bright and maybe it is his natural color, but if everyone believes that he dyes it he will look weak. There goes his bad boy image. As a tip of the iceberg I even come closer and ruffle through it carefully not to touch the peel, we wouldn't want to destroy my master piece.

Just now I realize how completely silent the whole room is. Oh man. I hate attention. Time to get lost. With a last provocative wink I turn around. I really don't have the patience to wait until Blondie has gathered up all the pieces of his dignity and tries to answer me. To complete my cool exit I make a few steps and then turn around again. "Oh I almost forget. You have something here", I gesture at my hair. "It looks kind of weird."

Then I leave super cool and dramatic. The small crowd, which started to gather around us, parts as I come closer. They make an alley for me to pass through. I roll my eyes. When I reach the door I hear Blondie calling out angrily: "Who in hell was that?"

Oh, yes. The victorious smile never leaves my face the whole way back to the dorm. It is a little miracle that I don't get lost, but standing in front of the fat lady I realize I forgot to get my timetable. Well. I hope Camilla is a really nice girl and brings it.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Every time I think that, I bang my head against the table. Why? Why did I do that? Maan, I am not Superwoman. I just wanted to be left alone in my precious little world of hating everything and now? All my aims are destroyed because of my fucking temper. Because I fucking needed to defend this stupid little boy and his cookies. Ouch. I stop hitting myself. Well, because it really starts to hurt. Now I just sit here in Transformation class with my head on the table while the catlady explains something in the front.

Camila indeed, I just love this word, brought me my timetable, which told me that I had this stupid class after the break together with the other Griffendor's my year. That means my rommies, Browny, the one who got the heart attack because of my story yesterday, the boy with the glasses that told me the password and a bunch of others, who's faces I see now for the first time are all in the classroom as well. Another pair of twins, two Indian girls, and another ginger belong to my year. Then there are also some fifth year Hufflepuffs.

I finally learned that yellow is Hufflepuff and green Rawenclaw while I trolled behind the geek gang to our second class. It was exactly that moment, or no, even earlier when I was on the way to my first class alone that I realized I did something really dump. The students all moved out of my way when they saw me coming and of course they stared like always, but not like before with eyes full of curiosity mixed with a little condescension because of my outfit. No they smiled with respect for what I did. And maybe with a little fear. The whispers started immediately. Some gave me thumps up or just winked at me. During the break, which I just wanted to spend lying in the sun on a bench in the courtyard, a few groups of giggling girls even approached me. The younger ones looked as if they would even bow to pay me respect. All I did was to annoy some boy and they act like I saved the school from a bunch of Death Eaters. Well maybe Blondie alias Draco Malfoy, what a name, is as bad as them, but still. I don't want to be praised as the savor of the future cookie packages, because I tamed this monster. I just want to be left alone. My God. Maybe I should really set someone on fire, only to secure my personal space of course

I sign a little too loud. Browny whose real name is Hermoine,which I was forced to find out, because her arm continuously shoots up, turns and gives me a warning stare. She sits in the first row and I am the only one in the last row. Why does she even bother? Oh. I get it. Catlady alias Professor Mcgonagall stopped talking because of me. Scratching my head I look up.

I am definitely not going to apologize for, well, breathing, but she seems to expect that. "Miss. Braun because you obviously think you don't need to pay attention. I guess you already know the vanishing spell so you can show it to the whole class. Now."

The catlady must think she can embarrass me. How funny. Coincidentally I know the spell and I can perform it. Mr Schwarz taught me some stuff during the summer, because I never went back to school after the most shitty easter I ever experienced. You hopefully know what I am referring to.

"Sure", I answer and begin to stretch before getting up. Lazily I walk up to the black board. The classroom is very spacious on the left hand sun rays shine in through lots of windows. The front of the room is dominated by an old-school blackboard and the teacher's desk, covered in a lot of books. I pass exactly five rows of single tables. Those old ones, where you can store stuff under the tabletop. On the right hand side, the door whispers sweet temptations, freedom. Oh I forgot to mention that at the at the far end of the desk a really big and gross snail leaves a glittering trail. Ew. I normally don't have anything against animals, but this snail is soo disgustingly big.

Professor McGonagall examines me angrily with her small cold eyes behind her glasses. Maybe I should be a little more polite. Nahh, far too stressful. I focus on the snail and take my wand out of my back pocket.

Transformation is really hard and right now it would be kind of ehm lousy for me to fail. You need to know exactly what you want to do and the words need to be pronounced very clearly. In transformation you can't let any other thought annoy you. Luckily it's one of my favorite subjects, I am kind of good at it. Because, well, I don't know. I guess I am just good at shutting everything out. I had enough training of that. There had always been some thoughts I just didn't want in my head. To make a show I clear my throat very loudly and wink at the catlady, whose lips are pressed together in a thin line. My God it's just so much fun to annoy teachers, but now concentration. It's just me against the snail.

"Evanesco" And with a pop it just vanishes into thin air. Boom Bitch. I turn around to the Professor and shrug: "Germany is just advanced sometimes. Sorry. A little tip if you want to catch me unprepared try with something harder." Without a last glance I walk back to my seat through the silent and astonished class.

Normally I have a little more manners, but to get expelled, which is on every good way to leave here, is as you know my life aim at the moment. Or maybe I need to say I used to be more polite, but when I stopped caring about anything it included the opinion of the people around me. so. Sorry but I am so not sorry for treating a so called respect person like that. I just see no point in being nice.

The rest of the lesson catlady leaves me alone. She just shoots me angry looks sometimes. It's so boring that by the end of the lesson I almost fell asleep. Luckily the bell is so loud that I am bright awake after it rings. That wasn't as bad as I thought. At least I guess the professor won't annoy me anymore. But my day will get a lot worse soon.

I am one of the first at the door. This classroom is at the ground floor and all the hallways are like a square around the little garden in the middle, where we are supposed to spend our breaks. So to get outside into the courtyard I just have to follow the hallway turn left and then there is an archway leading outside. The people around me chat exitedly about their first day, shoot me looks and start to whisper more.

Let me guess it won't take more than twenty minutes until my little clash with catlady will be around the whole school. While walking I take my mobile out of my pocket and pluck my headphones into my ears. There is nothing better than Bring Me the Horizon against annoying looks and noises.

I reach the archway. The courtyard seems over proportional. High walls limit every edge so it normally would be smaller, but I think it is enchanted to have the size of a little park with a fountain in the middle. Trees are planted like small green isles, small graveled pathways in between the lawns and benches lead from one place to the other.

It is still warm and of course, because today is so shitty the weather must be extraordinary good. There is a totally ridiculous blue sky without any clouds and the sun. I aim for my new favorite bench. It stands a little of the hook in the shadow of an old oak tree. There it is almost silent and I can have my beloved peace. I cross over the last lawn. A bunch of first years jump away. They always move in those big packs to cover up their insecurity, how annoying. Man I think annoying and stupid are my new words of the year.

Happy to finally have time to think on my own without any stares or whispers or I sit down on the small wooden bench and scroll down my playlist. Finally I find my fav song. With a yawn I lie down. For a moment I stare at the green wall made of leaves above my head. Some lonely sunbeams find their way through and make me sleepy with their warm touch on my cheeks. I close my eyes and for the first time I am completely and utterly relaxed. _S.p.i.r.i.t spirit let hit it._

But you know I gave you the hint that things will get far more than bad. I am just allowed to listen to this one song until it ends. That is probably the only reason why I hear an unknown person clearing his throats.

 _Yes I am still alive :D I hope it won't take that long to update in the future, but you know my sister is some lazy ass. Juts joking she is awesome :-)_

 _Just one thing. I am very surprised how many people read my first chapter already :o Thanks for that. You know I have another story on my profile on its in German, so if you like check it out ( Hahaha what a bad product placement). I wanted to say that there when I uploaded the first chapter I didn't even get half the views so WOW and its soo international :DD That's soo cool. Well okai that's it with my happy shoutout. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and you want to continue reading. As always I really really would appreciate it if you leave me your opinion :D_

 _Then..._

 _Bye until the next catastrophe._

 _K 3_

 _Ps: Yes I know I am a sadist for ending with a cliffhanger. Sorry :D_


	3. A stupid encounter

Annoyed I pluck one of my headphones out, not because I want to hear the person speaking. I just hate it if I can't hear myself talking. "Ahh come on! Just get lost and stop annoying me!", I snap. I would rather not move, but someone almost shouting with closed eyes looks kind of weird, so I open them and slightly turn my head.

What I see now are not some giggling girls who just look at me and say hi before almost running away or a blonde really angry guy, who wants to get revenge. Nop, it is a small Asian boy, who you probably remember. I don't know his name so I will call him ehm... Shorty. "No need to thank me, Shorty. I didn't do something earth shattering", my tone sounds a little bored now not mean anymore. I just can't be mean to little ones. Probably my weakest point. I sit back up.

"ähm... I...wanted to thank you, but.. just now Professor Snape wants you to come to his office." Oh. Ups. One second of fame and I fly too high, but this scumbag always gets me back to the ground. I don't mean Shorty here but the person he talked about. "Oh well, I don't want to see him. What a dilemma."

"He told me you would say something like this. He told me to tell you... I mean I am supposed to tell you that otherwise he will come and get you." You all must know by now which Professor my other gene donor is. Right, exactly that stupid dumbass that just threatened to embarrass me in front of my own pride. Nobody will come to get me okay? I sign and stop my music. "Well then. You owe me so show me the way and promise you won't tell anyone about this." Shorty looks confused but starts walking. I troll after him.

I will skip the part were I am supposed to tell you how Shorty leads me into the dungeon. Nobody wants to hear boring details. Of course his office has to be down there. The creepy poison professor gets an office in the creepy dungeons. How creative from you, fate. Really. I wouldn't have anything against a bright wide office with lots of windows I could flee through anytime. What do I get instead? A dark hallway with torches, that are attached to the stone walls, the only source of light down here. Yeah. I am serious. Isn't it dangerous to have an open source of fire accessible to everyone? Just saying. I mean there aren't any guards down here who control what everybody does. Burning Professor Snape's office down for example. Hey chill out. I don't plan on doing that. I am prepared for a meeting with him. Or at least I tried to prepare myself for a meeting with the person who just coincidentally gave me half of my genes. I knew it would come sooner or later, but not even in my darkest nightmare I expected it to be on my first day. Man. I should have acted more polite towards the catlady.

Great it's too late now, but who could have known that she would snitch because of one tiny sassy comment. Ts ts. I know I repeat myself. Everyone here is just sooo snobish. Who would rather rat out a defiant student to the father then deal with her themselves? Right. Obviously Professor McGonagall would. Stupid witch. Oh wait that's not even an insult. Shit. Anyways time to knock at the dark door in front of me. First I have to get rid of Shorty, who nervously waits for me to do anything else than stare at the door and silently curse myself for being that stupid.

"Thanks. You can go now", I say and for the first time I even try to give someone a reassuring smile. As I said I tried, but I think my smile doesn't look really nice or reassuring more likely really pissed and annoyed. Shorty furls his eyebrows in a way that is saying: Are you sure. I can protect you if you want. Oh how sweet because I saved his cookies, (not really, but you know what I mean) he wants to protect me from the dark creepy poison professor, he probably fears like everyone else, but me. Believe me or not I am flattered by myself that, although I may be emotionally confused, but most definitely not scared by that person. Oh no. I just like to avoid nasty confrontations if possible. Not that this confrontation will be nasty for me. Might be for him though. Okay you got me. Maybe it won't be too great for me either, but wait? Where did Shorty go? Oh. I did it again. You know sometimes I get so distracted with my thoughts that my other senses just turn off. Well, more likely I just don't care about the information they send to my brain. That probably describes it best. So I am sorry I can't tell you if Shorty was eaten by a monster or just disappeared to respect my privacy. I guess I will never find out. Just joking he for sure he just walked away, but now I have a much bigger problem ahead of me. I can deal with it. Or maybe not. Let's see.

Of course I don't knock I open the door with slightly too much force. Wearing my just-pissed-off-face I walk in. The office isn't exactly big, but not small either. It looks like a small cave because there are no windows and the walls are made of big stone quarders. At least as far as I can see, because all of them except the one with the door and the one with the enormous fireplace to my right are dominated by high shelves full of jars and bottles. In the middle of the room a plain desk full of books and papers is placed and guess who sits behind it. For one short second his head shoots up surprised, but as soon as he sees me his faces becomes blank. Really blank like totally emotionless. I am sorry to admit that I just stare at him for moment. I know, I know. Normally I'm much cooler than that. I did even prepare a suitable sassy comment. It's just the first time I see my real dad. I am serious. I have only seen one really old photograph, but he looks much more different now. Pale emotionless and this nose. No one can call him good-looking with this... hooter in his face. I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but I'm just telling the truth.

Still my mum was right I have his eyes. This small black marble colored eyes that now stare at me, are exactly the same as mine. Mine, well at least I hope for that, shine a little more lively. Except for that we look completely different. My hair is dark brown sometimes almost black but not like his. I wear it short, just above my shoulder so his is even longer than mine, but only a few inches. I am not as deathly pale as him. Not that I am tanned, I just don't look like a ghost. Our faces are completely different. His is sharp and edgy and mine oval with high cheekbones, I am proud of. I got the cute little noise from my mum and her cherry lips, which are totally wasted on me because I have them angrily pressed together most of the time. But we seem to share a love for the color black. Great. Looking into those strange familiar eyes a hundred thoughts swirl around my head like a bunch of table tennis balls. Why? Why are you the only one that survived. Why did you never come to see me? Weren't you curious? Just for once. Why did you never answer any of my letters? And I wrote a lot, asking all those questions. As a kid I was so curious, but I never got an answer back, if my mum really send them like she was supposed to. Maybe she kept them all because she didn't want me to get involved with him. Well it's too late for that now.

Lucky for me or more likely for my pride I catch myself pretty fast. He never answered me because he doesn't care ergo I also don't care one bit about him. I would be better off with him just disappearing or at least with him leaving me alone and pretending to not know me, which he really doesn't. Okay enough. Time to get this over with. "Look, If you want to teach me some manners it won't work. Just saying, it's far too late for that now", I say calmly with a bored intonation and shrug provocatively. I even raise an eyebrow annoyed. Yes that is the perfect image of myself not caring one bit about him or anything he has to say. If I could I would pat my shoulder proud of this successfully achieved mission.

He on the other hand doesn't seem to get unsettled by this obvious display of attitude towards him. He even ignores me and comes out behind is desk. Now he stands there leaning casually against the fireplace and examining me with a strange look on his face. Is it disgust? Ah no way. Even he has to feel a little fatherly right? Wait is that a word. At least you know what I mean, but I am so wrong. Obviously he is immune against any feelings that concern someone else than himself. With a voice as cold as ice and full of suppressed anger he begins to speak: "I don't care what you think about me or what your Mum told you about me." When he mentions my mum I draw air in sharply. That's a border no one should cross if he doesn't have a death wish. My family is an absolute taboo topic. Especially for him. I mean who is he to judge my Mum?!

He is just a total jerk who may be sharing some genes with me. Nothing more. Luckily he gets the hint and changes the topic: "Anyway, as long as you are here you are my problem. And as long as you don't get in trouble you can do whatever you want. You are old enough, but all the teachers know my ahhh… affiliation to you. So behave yourself and don't show off. And for goodness sake wear the fucking school uniform." His voice never gets loud, but his anger about me being a hot topic in the teacher's room is obvious enough. His eyes glow dark as they follow me shifting my weight, annoyed.

This is really something. I embarrassed him. Oh poor boy. I do so not pity him. I really expected something better from him. Why is everyone afraid of him again? I see no reason except that they could be scared his lameness would rub off on them. "Nope still not working, but nice try." Is the only answer I have for that really lame try to get me under control. I turn and walk out of the office without bothering to close the door behind me. Why was I afraid of meeting him? Yes, okay I admit his appearance evokes some stupid internal struggles, but I am sure I can deal with all this 'why did my dad never want me' whining. I mean I already got over this crisis more than once.

Countless boring classes and an annoying dinner later I finally find some peace while sitting in a window alcove hidden from everyone by a heavy curtain in the gryffindor common room. In my ears Ronny Radke screams all his anger out while I absentmindedly stare out of the window down onto a wide lawn and the forest. All the others are busy doing their homework, but well you know me, like I would do homework. Pff. Never. I hear their happy babbling voices even over the angry drums and screaming guitar rhythms, which is not even annoying. At the moment it just makes me kind of sad. In another life I would be in the middle of the all this, bribing my friends to do my homework for me or maybe even helping some younger students only if the right payment is offered of course. My friends would tease me because I would get lost in a book again and forget about something. Then in the evening I would call my mum and tell her about my new teachers and my time table. After a few minutes Mia would steal the phone from her and tease me about going to a school so far off the hook with just a small village nearby. That call is tradition on my first day of school. I always did it, but this year I have no one to call. Also no one is going to come and annoy me until I would give up my lonely spot and join the chitchat. Isabella especially was good at that. She always found something to do or invented new games to play and decided who the looser was that had to go down to the kitchen to get some sweets. I know I am supposed to like it the way it is now. No one annoys me. No one ask stupid question about my life. I promised myself I would keep my distance. To make friends would mean to have another person to lose.

I got enough of them even when some of my school friends distanced themselves while I was absent for the last half a year. I can't even blame them. Most of them tried to keep in contact or comfort me, but I didn't see any of their efforts. I was too busy building a high wall all around me that nobody could break through. It was only to protect me from any further pain. And come on who can blame me? If anyone from your family died you can understand that this feeling of losing someone is so immensely painful that it is hard to imagine going through all off it over and over again. The less people you care about the less you can lose. Simple logic. Also I have never been the most popular girl in school. I have even been some kind of a wallflower being shy and going unnoticed by the cool kids. But who cares, when you have your own cool squad, that is much deeper than those idiots. Well most of them think I am mentally unstable at the moment, but Isabella is working hard against any rumors about me. All off them came to visit me for little barbecue before I was sent away. This last day had almost been normal. Like the good old happy days.

The dark carpet of trees that I stare at all the time vanishes for a short second. I see the laughing face of Isabella fighting with Julia over the last piece of breed while the skinny curly head Sarah was trying to raise my enthusiasm for the vampire diaries. In the end they decided to play rock paper and scissors to decide. I used this moment of distraction to eat it myself. By the time they are finished it already had vanished in my mouth. In the background you could see the old brick house of my aunt. Through an open window you heard Brian complain about why he couldn't join the giggling girls outside. Something cold on my cheeks pulls me out off this memory. Ah. Why am I such a cry baby? There is nothing bad about crying. Let it out, Sophie. Crying is good, I hear the voice of my senile old therapist repeat in my head. Right. Maybe it's good, but first of all it's a sign of weakness and I won't show that to my classmates on my first day. Seriously they are like a pack of wolves. If they smell just the slightest weakness you are dead. That is school.

Therefore I wipe the lonely tear away, get my bag from the floor and leave my hiding place. The gryffindor common room is a tall, round room with a big fireplace on the left hand side. I guess the people here didn't hear about a thing called automatic heater yet. For that I will have to wait at least 200 more years. The English wizards are, as it seems, a very conservative bunch of freaks or maybe they have some cool gene mutation that makes them immune to the cold. And again I got lost in mobbing the British, sorry. Where am I again? Oh okay. Confusingly unorganized comfy little couches and armchairs are set up all across the room. In one corner there are a few study tables, not enough for everyone, but we are supposed to do our homework during study hours. Not that it would be enough time in that two hours after class. Well some genius organized this school, I see. I scan the room for Camila. Not that I want to make friends, I just want to know the way to the library and I get the feeling that she is the only one that will answer without making a big deal out of it. Oh there she is talking to Browny, who is sitting in an armchair next to the glass boy and a ginger with a big book on her lap. Uh Camila is a smart one trying to get answers from geek number one over there. As I slowly walk across the room to the group by the fire some heads shoot up but not as many as I thought there would be. Hopefully they will get used to my glorious appearance soon.

"Camila?", I ask silently to avoid any eavesdroppers. She immediately turns around. "Where is the library?", I continue. She looks a little surprised to be addressed directly but smiles brightly at me. Sadly before she can answer and I can get away without any unwanted attention, Browny, or pardon me I mean Hermoine, cuts in. "It's a too late to go there now. We are not allowed to wander around after dinner. " Great another rule I can break how lucky am I? Camila ignores Miss over-correct. "You have to go down to the first floor. It's in a some corridor near the great hall. So go down there and ask a portray. At the feet of the last staircase there is one off a small boy playing with pup. He will help you for sure. Don't be too long."

That sounds doable. "Thanks", I say. I can't help to add with a nasty glance at Hermoine: "I hope you don't shit yourself for breaking one stupid rule Ms. Over-correct. Sure you slipped out before to meet with your secret boyfriend right?" And there it goes. I made myself another enemy. Well at least her friends have something to ask her about now. I am sure it will make their evening conversation much more interesting.

The windows in the library are even higher than the ones in the common room. It's far too early for the sun to set, because it must be around half ten. The dying rays paint beautiful patterns on the old wooden floor. The room is even huger than I imagined and it looks really like a library. A really big and old one, but still a library with rows and rows of shelves and little desk in between them. For a few moments I take out my music and just wander around between the shelves listening to the whispers off the books and enjoying the quiet solemness of this place. I have always loved books. They look so plain, but they carry whole new worlds in them, you can always explore when our own is too boring or too painful to endure. Yeah maybe this descriptions sucks and sounds over dramatic, but any book-lover out there will agree with me. But I didn't come here for the books.

I find the perfect spot at the far end of the room. Here the shelves look older than the ones in the front. The books are also old, their backs broken or loose. Too many fingers skimmed through them careless. There, barely visible a tall, rarely used desk stands, facing the very last window. I get why. I wouldn't want to wander 20 minutes through this room just to use this desk. It is covered with dusk, but I don't care I just place my phone and my bag on the chair and climb onto it so that I can sit on the tabletop looking out of the window that shows me an awesome view over the dark lake. I have to admit one thing, this place is really beautiful apart from the people. But I also didn't come here to admire a lake. I take a small gray note book out of my backpack. It was supposed to be my diary but it became much more than that. I probably stole this method from some book or the author was a really smart one and stole it from my shrink, but sometimes I write letters to them. Just to pretend they are still here to give me advise or that they are close, looking after me. Maybe I am not alone. I don't know if there is a life after death or whatever. I don't believe it actually. I wish I could, but well at least I have this collection of desperate letters and a few minutes of lying to myself.

 _Hi Mum and you also my favorite Sis,_

 _How are you? I don't know how I am. I feel weird. I always thought this feeling would wear off with time, but it gets worse. I search for you everywhere and all I get is a bunch of British Freaks that piss me off. Sorry Mum. I am trying not to curse, but it's really hard with you not being here to correct me. Don't be mad and please Mia stop laughing at Mum's angry face. She is just trying to make respectable young woman out of us. Well Mum I think you failed with me, but don't worry I will try harder as soon as I am back home. Maybe. The people here just... I don't know... I want to leave. I am doing all sorts of stupid things, but you know its fun sometimes. You should have seen the catlady's, that's my transformations teacher, face today. She tried to scold me for not paying attention, but I paid her back. And I was thrown out of history of magic because I dared to correct the teacher with my name. Well that wasn't my fault. Yes Mia I am a total bad girl now. Satisfied? But I also did something really social today. I am not exactly proud of it, because now everyone looks at me like I am some kind of superhero. Well nothing I can do about it now. I kicked an arrogant bully's ass just the way you taught me, Mum. You know I totally crushed him just with words. Well I threatened him a little, but Mia you should have seen me. You would be so proud of your little sister. It was just the way you dealt with this Marcus guy in elementary school remember it? I think I was even cooler than you, but well you could learn from me, we all know that. But apart from this pathetic little rat, I also met my moron for a gene donator today. I was kind of afraid, but as it turns out he is a total lame ass bitch. So I think I can deal with him. I am sorry Mum, but what did you see in him?_

 _I miss you so much guys. But well I should get back now this stupid old hallways get pretty cold at night. Don't do anything bad okay? I will join you later so don't you dare forget about me._

 _Love Sophie_

 _PS: Don't worry even with me being here in this hell hole I won't give up on finding you murderer. You hear me? I will never give up! Okay? Pinky Promise._

-Hii everyone who reached the end off this kind of depression collection of words. I hope you still continue to like this story even after this kind of sad chapter. Always feel free to express your opinion I would reeaally appreciate that and as a bonus you would get mentioned in the authors note of the next chapter? :DD hm. Yes okay. This bonus really sucks, but I can't think of something better. Well maybe next time. But before I let you free into the real world again I want to thank my first reviewer( he/she/it :D is anonimous so I can't mention the name:(). Thanks broo for taking this time I will try to keep the chapters shorter as you recommended. I didn't realize how long the last one got. Thanks for reminding of that. You are awesome 3

That's it. Sorry I am one of this stupid authors that always writes A/Ns. Well...

Until the next update.

Byee

K 3

Ps: I am sorry for continuously mobbing all the British well I actually don't bully them it's Sophie, but I am just trying to play with stereotypes so don't feel personally offended please :D You will see how it will turn out :-) I don't mean any of that serious... so I hope you can forgive me :d


	4. Meeting with a warthog

Chapter 4

Not sure exactly what wakes me up from a peaceful slumber. Probably the urging need to pee. How unromantic I know, but reality sucks most of the time. In fact I just open my eyes for some reason. Slowly my mind realizes that I stared for at the plain wooden ceiling for like five minutes. Yeah I am that kind of person. I need a long time after waking up before my brain even starts functioning. So I just stare at the dust in the air. Thinking. Slowly two infos reach my brain.

What the fuck. How early is it?

Man I really need to go the restroom.

Soo I stand up and vanish into the bathroom. Coming out again I eye my roommates suspiciously. They all are still sleeping. Bertha even snores silently and Lucy snuggled herself deep into her sheets that I can only make out a bunch of messy brown hair. Longingly I lock eyes with my bed or more likely my Fortress of Solitude. Ha Funny. Look what happened to me. I am joking at six o'clock in the morning or whatever time it is. You know its that time of the day that normally doesn't exist, the black hours. But crying yourself to sleep has these bad side-effects. You sleep good, deep and dreamless and you wake up refreshed full of youthfull energy but far too early. Like today. There is no way that I can go back into dreamland. Shit.

And now? First I scuffle back to my bed and pick up my phone. I knew it. 5:37. Time to die. Who wakes up at this hour? What am I going to do? Well probably I am going to die slowly and painfully, because of the lack of sleep. Thanks again to my confused brain. Really thanks bro, maybe I will also die of boredom. So far for imagining a lot of stupid ways to die. I let myself fall back with a sign and a loud crash. Oops. Okay I am a meani, but I would never wake someone up at this hour. On Purpose. That would be cruel and I am a lot, but not cruel.

This little bit of a bad consciousness makes me get up again. Time for the ultimate cure against sleepless night, too much energy and stupid nagging thoughts that already start popping up from deep in my mind. With that I mean all the dump questions that rose again yesterday. Am I not loveable? Maybe I am too charming. Blabla. Stupid eternal struggles I would really like to delete with nothing more than... exercise. Before you know the 'accident' I was an absolute hater of any kind of exercise, from jogging to ball sport except maybe akkaido. But when you want to feel just anything other than numbness, exhaustion comes in very handy. Its real and physical. Not pain without a wound. So I started running. First I ran everyday as long as my lungs could endure. Now its just a habit, almost a nice handy defense mechanism to stop myself from thinking. Exactly what I need now. Therefore I take my music and change into shorts, a black sports bra and a shirt with the slogan _you can't fix stupid but you can choke it._ A gift from Isabella. Don't ask.

Approximately 18 songs later ( for normal people that is around 50 minutes) I climb up the small staircase at the back of castle again. They aren't really small just smaller compared to the ones at the front door that lead down to the lake. First I wanted to run around the lake, but that would be too far even for me, not that I am an athletic prodigy but I did build up a good constitution over the last months. Therefore I took a path around the back campus. Passing the owlery tower, the quidditch field and a small hood at the edge of the forest. I also passed by a very creepy looking tree without any leaves and a very knotted trunk. I think someone told me about this tree or I read it in the internet not sure. But I remembered to make a big sidestep around it. To be beaten up by the tree is the last thing I need in the moment. A funny way to defend yourself by the way. I should try it too some time. More than I already do. Well you have to admit I didn't hit anyone just yet. What an accomplishment. While my thoughts are still engaged with possible similarities of myself to a violent tree I walk in the direction of the great hall. Or at least in the direction of where I guess the great hall is. No I don't want to reserve me a sitting space for breakfast before the wake up bell rings, it is about to time it does by the way, I just only remember the way back to the dorm from the big staircase in the entrance hall so,

For one time in my life I am right. By the time I skip over a song I already heard I reach the entrance hall, but I notice that only out of the corner of my eyes, because I am busy scrolling down my playlist do find _Sorry about you parents_. That is by the way a really nice song. Well I am not here to recommend music. Back to business. As I said I don't really look where I am walking. Therefore I also don't see the tall blonde boy that hopes down the stairs before me. He doesn't really hope you know more likely he clombs down, cause his thoughts aren't engaged with something nice. No. They are busy with cursing the little morning humiliation from yesterday. Of course I don't know that. I don't even see him until he is directly in front of me. He on the other hand saw me a long time ago and his eyes narrowed at my sight.

I stop when a pair of nikes appear in my vision and my head shots up. Stupid human! Why can't he/she just make room for me. As soon as I see who stepped in my way I know why. It's Blondy. The guy from yesterday. The stupid little rat. Great more trouble. This is going to be fun. Luckily I always take my wand with me even when I work out.

First I make a step back, because well I saw him so late that the space between us is tiny. Not anymore. Then I pluck out one headphone. Yes just one. We don't want him to think I want to listen to what he has to say. I examine him slowly with judging look. Apparently I am not the only one who likes a little morning jog. At least the black sweatpants, white shirt and silver nikes indicate that. Yes you are allowed to laugh. Silver nikes... Where did he get them? The woman's department. I can't help myself but to smirk condescendingly.

Just in time to hear him gritting his teeth and hissing: "You!" Well that was some creative comeback. Congratulation. I roll my eyes. "Yes me what do you want? Other than you image back..." I shrug my shoulder almost apolitically. "Sorry can't give you that. But maybe when you stop harassing little boys I will tell everyone, that I was just joking yesterday when I said you are pathetic." He glares at me with burning eyes now. His jaws are pressed together so hard that it is a little wonder that they don't break. If there were a sport 'How to make someone explode in 3 seconds' I would get an gold medal. Well I have to admit Blondy here, I sadly forgot his name again, isn't really what you call a challenge.

"You never called me pathetic", is the only answer I get from him. Probably his brain is busy planning how to kill me in the most painful way.

"I didnt'?", I ask with fake surprise in my voice. "Man I forgot about it sorry. Okay I will take back the hair dying lie. Deal?" I don't really believe he will accept and leave me alone, but trying doesn't cost me so... Again I am right. After a few seconds tick by in silence, I get bored of this little encounter. Also I am really annoyed that my music is so silent. Therefore I decide to leave. I make a step to the right, but sadly Blondy recovered and steps once again in my way. This time his jaw tightens once again he looks down on me on purpose. With this arrogant _you only leave when I tell you to little one look_ in his eyes.

"I don't know where you came from. Or who you think you are, but if you think I am impressed by your little trick yesterday you are so wrong. This is my school and I am not going to be pushed away from my throne by a little girl. So you better back off before I will start to see you as a problem. I don't really like _problems_ , your know. I wouldn't mess with the fire if I were you. Burning yourself hurts and you are about to burn yourself pretty badly..."

I already stopped listening when he said throne and stared bored over his shoulder while I calculate if a simple body freezing spell will be enough to get expelled. Probably not. Maybe the pimple jinx. Still listening with half an ear I can't help, but chuckle in the end. What a lame metaphor really can't he think of something better? Play with the fire really. He is kind amusing I must say. But as much as I like to continue to listen to his lame treats I also want to shower, because in case you didn't know. My shirt is sticky which is plainly said disgusting and my hair put up in messy ponytail also sticks at my forehand. Believe it or not I do also sweat like a normal human being. Therefore time to get out of here.

"oh look. At this cute little kitty kat", I suddenly exclaim pretending that I am excited. As planned Blondy is startled just for a simple second, time enough for me to jump around him and escape up the stairs. No I didn't just yell out something random. While he tried to frightened me with the use of dump images a very old and scruffy looking cat with glowing yellow eye appeared on the landing of the stairs behind his back, behind her two balls of furl alias really adorable little kittens roll down the stairs. I stop and kneel to pet them. Yes I do like cats! Don't you? They are cute and sweet and this little paws. Aww. Heart melting.

"You! Stay where you are if don't want to die!", I hear an angry voice screaming when I get up again because Miss Mothercat doesn't seem to be amused trying to touch her baby. Well maybe next time. Before Blondy reaches me, I wink and wave at him smiling and jump up the rest of the stairs with out looking back. He doesn't follow me, because he would have to chase me like an idiot. Good decision, like this I reach my holy shower without any further interruption.

The first half of the day continues to be boring as fuck. I meet some new teachers, one of them seems be extra ordinary stupid. She is small wears a rosa tweet jacket and her voice is so high pitched that I need to contain myself to not choke her until she shuts up. Her name is Umbridge, what a stupid name and she teaches my favorite subject defense against the dark arts, which will not be my favorite anymore. In the first two breaks and until lunch I get my wanted peace. Also I have a funny little encounter with the history of magic teacher. You know the subject I was thrown out off yesterday. Oh you don't know this story. Then I think it's time for a little flash back. I had history of magic yesterday as the class directly after the catastrophy break. The one with my unscheduled meeting. First I was late to class, because I needed my time to calm and as you all will understand I was a little tense. So when Professor Binns called my name wrong as the last one with this stupid judging grin on his face I lost control. Just a little bit. I may did snap something like: "Jesus! How hard can it be to say my fucking name right. Its Soophie! For goodness sake are stupid?!" Yeah thats it. Without a word the shining white ghost pointed at the door. You don't have to give me such an invitation twice of course I took this opportunity and walked of with a wave to all the poor students left. Camila and Lucy were the only one, who waved back. Sad but true.

Today the Professor completely ignored me. He didn't even call my name or asked me for the homework. So I sit my time up scrabbling a little doodle on my notebook. At the end of the class he wanted to see notes and I gave him the little comic I drew about him and Umbridge with pleasure. By the way I seem to be the only one using a pen everyone uses stupid quills and ink. The same goes for herbeolgy and tranformation. I started my comic new and sat my time up.

During lunch I even have some kind of conversation. Bertha asked where I was this morning. You know I showered an dresses so quickly that I was out and about the dorm with the waking up bell and I skipped breakfast ( well I had just been to the great hall a little early and got me an apple) instead I used the spare time to explore the library more. I answered her that I went for a run and then Lucy suddenly engaged me in a conversation about work-out routines. It was really weird but she did most of the talking so I just answered the question she asked while I eyed Blondy carefully. I am sure he will do something after his Fail to leave an expression on me so I need to be careful that no civilian victims get could in the middle of his hurt pride. And that is the perfect connection to now. The second half of the day.

At the moment I wish for the boredom of the morning class but as you know fate is a bitch as always and my last class is potions. So I lean casually at the cold stone wall of the corridor with our classroom. All around me the gryffendor of my year are talking silently in their little groups while I close my eyes and try to calm myself down. No I am not going to skip this class. Not I have anything against it. Just skipping this class of all would make me the biggest coward on this earth. Therefore I am here imagining just something to distract me from... but I am not very successful. This cold black stare just surfaces again again while this cold breeze for a voice always repeats: "I dont care about you" In my head. Stop it. Lets think about a big chocolate cream cake. With strawberry topping and this delicious nutella cream from my aunt.

"Look who we have here", another cold voice interrupts my little food dreamland. Thanks you stupid. Do I really need to hurt you until you leave me alone, idiot! I open my eyes to see if I recognized the voice right. Yes I did. Blondy accompanied by other stupid Slytherins including his bodyguards right at left to him stands in front me and shoots me cold judging look.

"A pathetic little coward?", I shoot back with an annoyed eye roll. The gryffendors to my left all stop talking to look at me. Maybe they are even thinking about helping or they are just enjoying the show. I will never find out, because the silence hanging in the air between us is interrupted by a pair of footsteps. I guess our teacher is here. Good for me just sad for Blondy, who couldn't think of a good comeback fast enough. How disappointing. I love dissbattles. Everyone makes an little alley for him to pass through, but me. I just freeze at my spot gazing at the ground to not meet this eyes that are the same as mine.

I am the last one that enters the class room while everyone silently fights over the best seats gryffendors and slytherins strictly separated from left to right by silent hostility that hangs in the air. I slip in the back. There is always a free place I learned yesterday. Don't ask me why. The room is high and cold. Torches are the only light source the same as in the hailways down here. In the front there is a black board and a shelve no desk but a giant cauldron directly in front of the black board. I don't see a chair for professor Snape to sit, but that is so not my problem. For us student there are tree to two chairs set up around one small cauldron on a tiny fireplaces. The chairs have little tabletops attached to one side you can move to the side. As soon everyone finds a place it becomes deathly silent. Great. He is one of those teachers...

The only noises are around thirty breaths and a big sign from myself. Come on people he is just a teacher. Where are the silent whispers and laughs? And the flying paperballs? Okay everyone here is partly geek as it seems, but even so someone talked in class. Or tried to throw a pen through Professor Binns. That wasn't me, but it was really funny. But now everyone sits silent in their spots and hopes that Snape won't realize they are here. With his quiet cold voice he starts reading out the names without any warm words of welcome back. When he says my name he stops to glare at me. Probably because of my outfit. Today I completely left out the uniform for blue jean with a hole near my right knee a Foofighters T-Shirt and my killer Doc-Martens. But partly also because I say instead of "Present" "Bored as fuck." Geekgang turns around to shoot me a warning look. Only Camila smirks at me and Hermoine of course in the first rows leans over to whisper something to her two boy-toys, sorry I mean the ginger and the glasses boy sitting next to her.

He snarls at the disturbance and continues with the last two names, but still I feel his creepy gaze through twilight of the room on my skin. I even get goosebumps. Spocky. The lesson on the other hand is not at all spocky. The professor just says a few Words : "Assigment today: We repeat the the wit-sharpening potion, because your brains probably are all empty as a trash can after the holidays. Don't fail too miserable. You will get graded. Begin now."

Everyone gasps in shock and even I must admit that that is really mean. Not that I care for my grade, but to start the new school year of with a test is a little sadistic don't you think? I even pity my poor classmates who will fail miserable. One moment I consider just getting my flask and fill it water, but I kind of feel the urge to show this arrogant dumpass that I won't fail miserable. I don't mean to brag or anything potions is not my favorite subject, but my best one. Its boring but easy like math. Yes exactly like math you just have to follow the instructions precisely and you are successful, but you have to be very exact. You have to understand this complex system of little hints and technical terms. If you are a smart one you will even find some shorts cuts. At home I had a lot of fun trying stuff out like does it change if I mix the batblood with the honey water before putting it in. Sometimes it works and sometimes you fail miserable. One time three frogs brain exploded in my hand and scattered all over Isabella and me. I got two weeks detention for that, but it was really fun. Attention children don't try this at home!

While I still think about my successes in this subject all the others already gathered their ingredients and start working silently whispering. Ahh stupid ambition. Let's show this jerk, who has the real talent here. I stand up, get myself a book and scan the recipe still standing next to shelve with the ingredients and books at the right wall. I get what I need and go back to my seat. Like a giant creepy bat he started sneaking behind the sweating students. He never comes near me though lucky for him. I read the recipe again arrange my stuff and make a plan on a separate sheet of paper. I always do that. It helps with keeping the orientation like a big almighty masterplan.

How to make the wit-sharpening potion is probably not really interesting. Just mushing, boiling and pestling of some creepy and disgusting stuff. A few smart little tricks and good timing later I am finished. Earlier than everyone else, because half of them needed to start again the other made a little mistake that they are desperately trying to change back now. For example a little obese boy from my house failed so catastrophally that his potions turned to a wabbly jelly like thing. Carefully I fill my flask and attache my nametag, they past around in the beginning, while the oh so nice other half of my genes continues to bully the poor boy until he is at the edge of his tears. Time for the good deed of the day.

I stand up. The chair scratches noisily over the ground that I get the attention of half the class including the giant creepy bat with too much aggression for a teacher, just my opinion. His head shots up and his eyes follows my annoyed walk to the front. When I see Blondy angrily snapping at his partner one of his bodyguards for doing something wrong I can't help myself put stop and say to bodyguard no 1: "I would try warthog as a partner next time. It probably has a bigger brain and a much hairstyle for sure." I smile my come-on-hit-me-in-the-face-smile and continue my way. I hear suppressed giggling from the gryffendors behind my back and hissed 'shut up' from about three girls to my left. That must be Blondies fanclub. Next time I see them I should ask for a membership card, but now I have to make an awesome last comment. With a suspicious look at me the Professor leaves the boy and moves to the front to pretends to check the content of his cauldron. I pass him with a lifted eyebrow and place my flask in the shelve next to black board.

Okay I can do that. Just one comment to leave everyone speechless and then I can leave and forget this face again. I crack my neg and think with pleasure about my messy seat. Of course I didn't tidy it up. Up with the bitch-please face. Then I turn around and meet his gaze immediately. He is just some lame ass bitch. Wait bitch? That doesn't work. Nevermind that. I walk up until I am directly in front of him and smile a fake smile like I always do. I try to ignore the big fat ball in my throat and say loud enough for everyone to hear: "You have a mobbing problem in hour house you know?! Need help with that?" Without waiting for the answer I leave, it was a rhetorical question by the way...


End file.
